Untitled Part 2

Act One
Scene Two
Lights
The stage is set as Annie's apartment. It is nicely decorated with a couch, two chairs, and several posters hang on the wall. Annie is cleaning up a little when a doorbell sounds off stage. She runs to off stage and we hear a door opening. Annie reenters followed by Malcolm, Daniel, and Mary.
Mary: Thank you so much for letting me stay with you tonight, I don't know what I would've done otherwise.
Annie: It is no trouble at all! I love having someone new to talk to.

Malcolm: You will soon find out that my sister likes to talk a lot.

Daniel: We tried to sew her mouth closed when we were in 4th grade and Annie was about six but Malcolm's mom stopped us.

Malcolm: She regretted it until the day she died.

Mary: Your mother's dead?

Malcolm: Yes she is.

Daniel: It was a very sad day. You see, she had made the mistake of asking Annie, who was in High School at the time, how school was that day...

Malcolm: And Annie kept talking and talking

Daniel: And talking and talking and talking.

Malcolm: Until finally....

Daniel: Three days later

Malcolm: She died of thirst.

Daniel: It was tragic.

Malcolm: Her last words were

Daniel: Please Jesus Make It Stop.

Malcolm: Make Annie Dumb
Daniel: If not for me than for the human race as a whole

Malcolm: Then she fell down dead

Mary giggles in a slightly guilty way, like she knows she shouldn't find it funny but does, and Annie throws a pillow at Daniel and Malcolm.

Annie: Shut up! Mary, don't listen to a word those two clowns say. My mother is alive and well. Would you like something to drink?

Mary: Yes thank you.

Annie: I have coke, coffee, tea, water, milk, wine, beer, what will it be?

Mary: I'll just have some milk, thank you.

Malcolm: I'll have a beer

Daniel: And I would like a coke.

Annie: I didn't offer a drink to you two.

Annie exits. Malcolm picks up a cd off the coffee table and looks at it. Daniel leans in and looks at it as well.

Daniel: Oh! The New Mellisa Etheridge album. I've heard that it's good.

Malcolm: It isn't.

Daniel: Really?

Malcolm: Yeah, a couple of catchy songs but nothing terrific.

Mary: I've heard about her! Do you know, do you know, that she's a, that she's a (as if saying a very dirty word) a lesbian?

Daniel: Um, yes....

Annie reenters. She hands Mary a glass of milk and tosses Malcolm a bottle of beer.

Malcolm: You're a dear Annie.

Annie(ignoring him, apologetically): Sorry Dan, I'm out of coke, so I'm making some coffee for you instead. It should be ready in a little bit.

Daniel: Ok, thanks, Annie. What do you think of this cd? I'm considering getting it.

Malcolm: Don't bother.

Mary: Didn't you hear what I said? She's a lesbian.

Daniel(a little perplexed): So?

Mary(confused, not aggressive): What do you mean “So”?

Daniel: I said I thought I might buy the album and you said that she's a lesbian as if that was a reason not to buy the album

Mary: Well it is.

Daniel: Um, how so?

Mary: Well, if you buy she'll get money.

Malcolm(a little bitterly): That is the way the music business is supposed to work, yes. Though it doesn't always.

Daniel: Why would I not want her to have money?

Mary: I've already told you: She's a lesbian.

Annie: Look guys, I think we should stop this conversation....

Malcolm: Yeah maybe we should.

Daniel: No we shouldn't. Mary, why would I not want a lesbian to have money?

Mary: Because then they will live longer.

Malcolm: Jesus Christ.

Mary(gasps): You just took the lord's name in vain!

Annie: Look, I really think that we should...

Daniel: Wait, what did you say your name was?

Mary: Mary Phelps.

Daniel: And you're in town with your family?

Mary: Yes.

Daniel: Oh My God.

Mary: Daniel! You just took the lord's name in vain! Get down on your knees and beg forgiveness, you to Malcolm.

Daniel: Malcolm, are you thinking what I am?

Malcolm: Yes I am.

Annie: I'm not.

Daniel: Mary, your family travels in buses, right?

Mary: Yes, I already told you that.

Malcolm: Think it through Annie.

Annie: Oh God Above.

Mary: Annie, you just...

Daniel: Mary are you perhaps in town to attend a funeral?

Malcolm: Gary Lockman's by any chance?

Mary: Yes, my family picketed his funeral.

Daniel(throwing up his hands and standing up): Wonderful, fantastic,

Annie: Dan...

Daniel: What are the chances, Malcolm, tell me what are the chances?!

Malcolm(sitting back and shaking his head): Probably pretty slim.

Annie: Guys.....

Daniel: I need to get out of here. I need....some space.

Daniel exits.

Mary: What was that about?

Malcolm: Mary, are you related to a minister named Fred Phelps.

Mary: Yes, he's my grandpa.

Malcolm: Ok, this is awkward

Mary: Why?

Annie: Well, Mary you see your grandfather stands for some things and believes some things that we.....um.....

Malcolm: Don't agree with.

Annie: Yes! He stands for and believes in things that we don't and....

Mary: What does he stand for that you disagree with?

Annie: Wellll....

Malcolm: His views on homosexuality primarily.

Mary: You like f.....

Annie: Don't say that word.

Mary: What, Fa...

Annie: Yes that one, don't say it.

Malcolm: Also we, that is Daniel, Annie, and I, don't really think that picketing people's funerals is in very good taste.

Mary: But he has to get the message out, I mean F....Homosexuals are bringing down God's wrath on the world. We have to stop them.

Malcolm(to Annie): I don't think that this is going to work.

Annie: Yeah....

Mary: Hold on....OH MY GOSH! She jumps up and tries to get as far away from Malcolm as possible I should have guessed it, us being in New York and all. You're a homosexual!

Malcolm: Who? Me or Annie?

Mary: You! Stay away from me! I know that you are more violent than a normal person.

Annie: What does us being in New York have to do with it?

Mary: New York is homosexual haven.

Annie: Really?

Mary: Yes.

Malcolm: Look, it's getting late. I'm going to go see if Dan is okay. I bid both of you ladies goodnight. As the Bard wrote “Parting is such sweet sorrow”. Adieu.

Annie: By Malcolm, call me in the morning.

Malcolm: Will do. Bye Mary.
He exits

Mary: I'm so glad that he's gone. Homosexuals scare me.

Annie(harshly): That's my brother you're talking about! And he's not even gay! I bet you haven't even met a gay person before! I swear to God you people drive me crazy! Look, Malcolm is right. It's late. The spare room is through that door. I'll talk to you in the morning.

Mary: Goodnight.

Annie: Yeah Whatever.

Annie exits

Mary stands alone, looking lost, alone, and scared. She turns around and exits.

Black