Here is a piece of comic material that I came up with recently.
So I am going up to the big apple next week and I have got tickets to the Spiderman musical. And I know that there are some in the theatre press who have been....less than kind to it. The New York times reviewer said it was one of the worst plays in Broadway history. But, you know, it's just the New York Times, what do they know about culture? No, I have heard two critics praise it to the heavens, and I trust them much more than I trust any critic from the "New York Times". Those critics are Oprah Winfrey and....Glenn Beck. We all know that Glenn Beck is an expert of culture and specifically musical theatre right? His endorsement is enough to make me shell out the 100 dollars for the seat and the 75 dollars for protective gear to go see it. Seriously though, Mr Beck on his radio show totally endorsed it by saying, essentially, "Holy God, they fight!! I mean, seriously, they fight, it's awesome, they sing and then they fight! Who could ever have imagined people fighting on stage?! It has never, ever happened before! Did I mention they fight?!" Yeah, when you mix fighting, the director of across the universe and the lion king broadway musical, puppets, comic books, Bono, high flying stunts, and a Glenn Beck recommendation how could you possibly go wrong?
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Action The Pilot part 1
Here is a little sitcom that I have been working on. Think Friends(which was very influential on the writing of this) mixed with Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip(which I used as a basis for the formatting of the script, thank you Mr Sorkin)
Action
The Pilot
Teaser
Int. Soundstage – Early Evening
We are in a room where one man(the attacked) is sitting at a table, counting money, laughing quietly to himself. Another man(the attacker) bursts in.
Attacker
YOU!
He runs toward the other man and grabs him, knocking over the chair. He slams the other man up against the wall.
Attacked(condescending)
Why, Patrick, I never took you for a violent man.
The Attacker throws the Attacked across the room, and he slams into the table knocking it over. The Attacker walks over to the Attacked, kneels down and flips out two knives holding them near to the Attacked's face.
Attacker(smiling coldly)
What about now?
The Attacker laughs and moves closer to the Attacked and blocks him from our view. The Music swells and the John's voice cuts in and the music stops.
John Seymour(VO)
And, Cut! All right people that is a wrap, See you all Monday.
The Attacker stands up and the Attacked stands up as well. They slap each other on the back and walk off. The camera pulls back to reveal that we are on a movie set and John Seymour is sitting in the director's chair. John is a twenty something director who is unassuming and likable. John stands up and runs his hand through his hair. He glances at his watch and begins to gather up his papers. Megan Rare, a woman in her early twenties, comes up behind him, holding papers.
Megan
Big date tonight?
John(jumping)
Oh! Hey, Megan. What did you say?
Megan
I asked if you had a big date tonight.
John
No, no I do not have a big date tonight, or tomorrow, or ever, really. Why do you cont. ask, you interested? (He smiles and raises his eyebrows, letting us know that it is a joke)
Megan(also laughing)
No, I just saw you glance at your watch for the fifth time
in about half an hour. I assumed that you must have something
important tonight.
John
Yeah, you see, I have been working on this film project
with some friends, and we sent the script to this studio guy
we know and he's supposed to call us tonight to tell us
what he thought, and if we're lucky he'll give us the go ahead
to do it. I was going to direct, it would be my first feature
film, and I really, really like the script my friend wrote.
Megan
Who's your friend? Have I heard of him?
John
Depends, how many underground gay plays have you seen?
Megan
Underground gay plays?
John
Yes.
Megan(sarcastically)
My favorite style of entertainment, no weekend would be complete without it.
Both Laugh
John
Should I take that as a no?
Megan
Not necessarily, I have a bunch of gay friends who love theater,
so it is entirely possible that they have told me about him
or dragged me to one of his plays, who is he?
John
Michael Forster.
Beat while Megan tries to remember if she has heard of him
John
Nothing?
Cont. Megan
Not a thing, sorry.
John
It's ok, he's very, very underground right now.
Megan
Maybe the movie will be his big break.
John
That's what I'm hoping, because he is really good.
I mean frighteningly good. (he checks his watch again)
Crap! Sorry, but I need to go.
Megan
Go, just tell me Monday what happens.
John
Of Course, bye.
Megan
Bye.
John runs off and we
cut to:
The Apartment-night
Michael and Harry(a mid twenties man who is Michael and John's roomate) are sitting around a table, staring at a phone.
Harry
God Almighty, Why won't it freaking ring?!
Michael
Harry?
Harry
Yeah?
Michael
You have nothing to do with this film.
Harry
So?
Michael
So? So, why are you freaking out while
cont. I, the writer of the script in question,
am staying totally calm?
Beat
Harry
You're heavily drugged?
Michael
No, that's not it.
Harry
You are a robot and have no emotions?
Michael
No, still not there.
Harry
You are calm person and I am not?
Michael(sarcastically)
Got it in three.
Harry laughs and walks over to the refrigerator.
Harry
Want something to drink, Mike?
Michael
Yes very much so. I would like about twenty shots of Whiskey.
Harry(looking in the fridge)
Hmmm, Seems we are fresh out of highly alcoholic beverages
Michael
And on the night we most need them too.
Harry
You know what they say, alcohol is like
a girlfriend...
Michael
Who says that?
Harry
People.
Michael
What 'people'?
Cont. Harry
Just People! Can I finish, please?
Michael
I'm not sure, the setup “Alcohol is like a girlfriend”
Is not exactly promising.
Beat
Michael(cont)
Oh, what the hell, go on.
Harry(with dignity)
As I was saying. Alcohol is like a girlfriend
there when you don't need it
but in your time of need it runs off
with the bassist from some piece-of-crap
sellout hard rock band leaving you there,
alcohol-less
Beat
Michael
Still screwed up over Stephenie?
Harry
No, I've all but forgotten about her.
Beat
Harry
Stephenie who?
Beat
Michael
Please God tell me that there is something
intoxicating in this apartment
Harry
We have some really, really old apple juice.
Beat
Michael
What in God's name does that possibly have
to do with what we are talking about?
Harry
Cont. Maybe it fermented.
Beat
Michael
It's worth a shot, give it here.
Harry laughs and tosses the juice to Michael who opens it and pours it into a glass. The door opens and John comes in.
John(breathless)
Have they called yet?
Michael
No, and we have no alcohol in this apartment,
So I am drinking old apple juice in the vain hope
that is has fermented and turned into ale.
John
You know you shouldn't turn
to alcohol to solve you problems.
Michael
I'm not, I am turning to alcohol to
forget that I have any problems.
Beat
John
Fair enough, pass it here.
John sits down next to Michael and Michael pours him a glass of apple juice. Harry walks forward and accepts a glass from Michael.
Harry
Ah, I remember the wild keg parties
I went to in high school. We would have to find
this guy to bring us apple juice.
John
Funny, When I was in high school I used to fake an id
and then walk into a grocery store to buy apple juice.
Michael
For the love of God, please stop.
Harry is ready to answer when, suddenly, the phone rings. They all stare at it for a moment and then all dive for the phone. John gets there first and answers it.
Cont. John(on the phone)
Hello? Ah, yes, Mr Roberts, this is John. How are you?
Michael
Drop the pleasantries, drop the freaking pleasantries.
John(on phone)
Me? Oh, I am very well, Mr Roberts, thank you for asking.
Michael
(To Harry)
Kill me, kill me now.
John(on phone)
So Mr. Roberts, what did you think of
that script we sent you? Uh-hu, uh-hu,
as, well, of course that was only an early draft...
Michael
What the? Oh God, I knew it wasn't ready,
please Harry, just shoot me in the head.
John(on the phone)
Well, that is very good news, sir.
I will start casting right away and
I will also get Mike on those rewrites.
Thank you very much. (hangs up the phone)
Michael(disbelievingly)
We got it?
John
Like a bad boy rock star gets dates with actresses.
All are in shock until Harry says.
Harry
Well this calls from cerebration,
pomegranate juice anyone?
They all stare at him as we fast cut to
Main Titles
Action
The Pilot
Teaser
Int. Soundstage – Early Evening
We are in a room where one man(the attacked) is sitting at a table, counting money, laughing quietly to himself. Another man(the attacker) bursts in.
Attacker
YOU!
He runs toward the other man and grabs him, knocking over the chair. He slams the other man up against the wall.
Attacked(condescending)
Why, Patrick, I never took you for a violent man.
The Attacker throws the Attacked across the room, and he slams into the table knocking it over. The Attacker walks over to the Attacked, kneels down and flips out two knives holding them near to the Attacked's face.
Attacker(smiling coldly)
What about now?
The Attacker laughs and moves closer to the Attacked and blocks him from our view. The Music swells and the John's voice cuts in and the music stops.
John Seymour(VO)
And, Cut! All right people that is a wrap, See you all Monday.
The Attacker stands up and the Attacked stands up as well. They slap each other on the back and walk off. The camera pulls back to reveal that we are on a movie set and John Seymour is sitting in the director's chair. John is a twenty something director who is unassuming and likable. John stands up and runs his hand through his hair. He glances at his watch and begins to gather up his papers. Megan Rare, a woman in her early twenties, comes up behind him, holding papers.
Megan
Big date tonight?
John(jumping)
Oh! Hey, Megan. What did you say?
Megan
I asked if you had a big date tonight.
John
No, no I do not have a big date tonight, or tomorrow, or ever, really. Why do you cont. ask, you interested? (He smiles and raises his eyebrows, letting us know that it is a joke)
Megan(also laughing)
No, I just saw you glance at your watch for the fifth time
in about half an hour. I assumed that you must have something
important tonight.
John
Yeah, you see, I have been working on this film project
with some friends, and we sent the script to this studio guy
we know and he's supposed to call us tonight to tell us
what he thought, and if we're lucky he'll give us the go ahead
to do it. I was going to direct, it would be my first feature
film, and I really, really like the script my friend wrote.
Megan
Who's your friend? Have I heard of him?
John
Depends, how many underground gay plays have you seen?
Megan
Underground gay plays?
John
Yes.
Megan(sarcastically)
My favorite style of entertainment, no weekend would be complete without it.
Both Laugh
John
Should I take that as a no?
Megan
Not necessarily, I have a bunch of gay friends who love theater,
so it is entirely possible that they have told me about him
or dragged me to one of his plays, who is he?
John
Michael Forster.
Beat while Megan tries to remember if she has heard of him
John
Nothing?
Cont. Megan
Not a thing, sorry.
John
It's ok, he's very, very underground right now.
Megan
Maybe the movie will be his big break.
John
That's what I'm hoping, because he is really good.
I mean frighteningly good. (he checks his watch again)
Crap! Sorry, but I need to go.
Megan
Go, just tell me Monday what happens.
John
Of Course, bye.
Megan
Bye.
John runs off and we
cut to:
The Apartment-night
Michael and Harry(a mid twenties man who is Michael and John's roomate) are sitting around a table, staring at a phone.
Harry
God Almighty, Why won't it freaking ring?!
Michael
Harry?
Harry
Yeah?
Michael
You have nothing to do with this film.
Harry
So?
Michael
So? So, why are you freaking out while
cont. I, the writer of the script in question,
am staying totally calm?
Beat
Harry
You're heavily drugged?
Michael
No, that's not it.
Harry
You are a robot and have no emotions?
Michael
No, still not there.
Harry
You are calm person and I am not?
Michael(sarcastically)
Got it in three.
Harry laughs and walks over to the refrigerator.
Harry
Want something to drink, Mike?
Michael
Yes very much so. I would like about twenty shots of Whiskey.
Harry(looking in the fridge)
Hmmm, Seems we are fresh out of highly alcoholic beverages
Michael
And on the night we most need them too.
Harry
You know what they say, alcohol is like
a girlfriend...
Michael
Who says that?
Harry
People.
Michael
What 'people'?
Cont. Harry
Just People! Can I finish, please?
Michael
I'm not sure, the setup “Alcohol is like a girlfriend”
Is not exactly promising.
Beat
Michael(cont)
Oh, what the hell, go on.
Harry(with dignity)
As I was saying. Alcohol is like a girlfriend
there when you don't need it
but in your time of need it runs off
with the bassist from some piece-of-crap
sellout hard rock band leaving you there,
alcohol-less
Beat
Michael
Still screwed up over Stephenie?
Harry
No, I've all but forgotten about her.
Beat
Harry
Stephenie who?
Beat
Michael
Please God tell me that there is something
intoxicating in this apartment
Harry
We have some really, really old apple juice.
Beat
Michael
What in God's name does that possibly have
to do with what we are talking about?
Harry
Cont. Maybe it fermented.
Beat
Michael
It's worth a shot, give it here.
Harry laughs and tosses the juice to Michael who opens it and pours it into a glass. The door opens and John comes in.
John(breathless)
Have they called yet?
Michael
No, and we have no alcohol in this apartment,
So I am drinking old apple juice in the vain hope
that is has fermented and turned into ale.
John
You know you shouldn't turn
to alcohol to solve you problems.
Michael
I'm not, I am turning to alcohol to
forget that I have any problems.
Beat
John
Fair enough, pass it here.
John sits down next to Michael and Michael pours him a glass of apple juice. Harry walks forward and accepts a glass from Michael.
Harry
Ah, I remember the wild keg parties
I went to in high school. We would have to find
this guy to bring us apple juice.
John
Funny, When I was in high school I used to fake an id
and then walk into a grocery store to buy apple juice.
Michael
For the love of God, please stop.
Harry is ready to answer when, suddenly, the phone rings. They all stare at it for a moment and then all dive for the phone. John gets there first and answers it.
Cont. John(on the phone)
Hello? Ah, yes, Mr Roberts, this is John. How are you?
Michael
Drop the pleasantries, drop the freaking pleasantries.
John(on phone)
Me? Oh, I am very well, Mr Roberts, thank you for asking.
Michael
(To Harry)
Kill me, kill me now.
John(on phone)
So Mr. Roberts, what did you think of
that script we sent you? Uh-hu, uh-hu,
as, well, of course that was only an early draft...
Michael
What the? Oh God, I knew it wasn't ready,
please Harry, just shoot me in the head.
John(on the phone)
Well, that is very good news, sir.
I will start casting right away and
I will also get Mike on those rewrites.
Thank you very much. (hangs up the phone)
Michael(disbelievingly)
We got it?
John
Like a bad boy rock star gets dates with actresses.
All are in shock until Harry says.
Harry
Well this calls from cerebration,
pomegranate juice anyone?
They all stare at him as we fast cut to
Main Titles
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
My Heart lies bleeding on the floor or Angsty, Me?
You destroyed me
with a gentle sigh
and a cold smile
My heart lies
bleeding on the floor
I can not take
this pain anymore
What is the use
of this ruse anymore
get out, just leave
My heart lies
bleeding on the floor
there is no
point to life anymore
I was told that
things would work out
I was told that things
would be fine
if I just tried
Lies
all lies
lies from the mouths
of liars and sadists
My life lies
unmoving on the floor
I don't want to live
this way anymore
Some want revenge
others want closure
I want it to end
I want to leave
this place, this time, this life
My Heart lies
bleeding on the floor
I cannot stand
this life anymore
with a gentle sigh
and a cold smile
My heart lies
bleeding on the floor
I can not take
this pain anymore
What is the use
of this ruse anymore
get out, just leave
My heart lies
bleeding on the floor
there is no
point to life anymore
I was told that
things would work out
I was told that things
would be fine
if I just tried
Lies
all lies
lies from the mouths
of liars and sadists
My life lies
unmoving on the floor
I don't want to live
this way anymore
Some want revenge
others want closure
I want it to end
I want to leave
this place, this time, this life
My Heart lies
bleeding on the floor
I cannot stand
this life anymore
I've gotten over it
My back still bleeds
where you stabbed it
in a fit of rage
and disillusionment
years ago
back when we thought
that brute force could make
things work correctly
I don't blame you
for what you did
It's fine
It's good
I've Gotten Over It
Gotten Over It
I should have known
back when we were nineteen
that we would never amount
to a perfect couple
but the temptation was there
and the draw of marriage
was only increased by the birth
of our beautiful child
I don't blame you
for what happened
It's over
It's Done
I've Gotten Over It
Gotten Over It
You always idealized
the daughter of the king
and I was always a fan
of the girl who was unaware of her beauty
I am sorry
that I could never be your knight
I am sorry
that you couldn't be my neighbor
I don't blame you
and I hope
You don't blame me
It's Fine
Let's walk away
I've gotten over it
and I hope you have too
I always loved the rain
and the comfort it brings
You loved the sun
and how it lit up the sky
And you love pop rock
and I love indie folk
of course it was
never going to work
It's Fine
It's good
I've gotten over it
Gotten Over it
I've Gotten Over it
I've Gotten Over It
where you stabbed it
in a fit of rage
and disillusionment
years ago
back when we thought
that brute force could make
things work correctly
I don't blame you
for what you did
It's fine
It's good
I've Gotten Over It
Gotten Over It
I should have known
back when we were nineteen
that we would never amount
to a perfect couple
but the temptation was there
and the draw of marriage
was only increased by the birth
of our beautiful child
I don't blame you
for what happened
It's over
It's Done
I've Gotten Over It
Gotten Over It
You always idealized
the daughter of the king
and I was always a fan
of the girl who was unaware of her beauty
I am sorry
that I could never be your knight
I am sorry
that you couldn't be my neighbor
I don't blame you
and I hope
You don't blame me
It's Fine
Let's walk away
I've gotten over it
and I hope you have too
I always loved the rain
and the comfort it brings
You loved the sun
and how it lit up the sky
And you love pop rock
and I love indie folk
of course it was
never going to work
It's Fine
It's good
I've gotten over it
Gotten Over it
I've Gotten Over it
I've Gotten Over It
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